I was going to write about those mad days. You know the ones when your emotional fuel tank is low. When you are running in circles and don’t feel like you accomplished anything?
Then, I noticed something.
My thoughts were awful! Super negative. My brain was calling me all sorts of names. Fortunately, from somewhere came a small voice of reason. I thought, “get it together Erika, that’s not okay!”
I bet once in a while, you have those days, when you feel a “Mess.” When you can’t tell Up from Down, or remember the name of your kid standing right in front of you (I’m like, “um hey you”).
Lately, I’m finding that’s happening more often than not. Is it part of aging, or my stress level? Could I use more sleep? Likely, it is all of those things, combined with so many others. However, it is not a reason to feel bad about myself. I cannot let frustrations belittle my accomplishments. I won’t (well try very hard not to) get caught in the trap of mommy guilt. So, in order to stay semi-sane and moving forward, I had to say “stop it!”
I decided, I will reframe what I tell myself and write about how l’m a mess “sometimes” (see, I’m working from a strength-based perspective 😊).
Being a mess is Okay! I’m a mom! M-O-M, super, magical, great, powerful, empowered, happy and sad, and mad at times. Most importantly I am fueled by my determination to ensure my three children grow to be well rounded, and kind individuals. I had to remind myself, that I might have to ride around to various dance competitions, soccer games, gymnastic shows, and basketball tournaments all in an effort to provide my children with well-rounded experiences. I will attend school events, and join the PTO (I am not sure how I became the President, but that’s a blog for another day) in order to ensure they feel secure and aim for their full potential. Most importantly, I have to take care of me. So there will be times I stay awake (likely binge watching something) a little later. I may stay out a bit longer with friends all in order to have fun. Why? Because I work long hours, have responsibilities, and self-care is the most important one.
So I am reminded that doing all that I do comes with its share of consequences and occasionally means being a Hot Mess, “Sometimes.“
And it’s okay.
As always, I hope to chat with you soon, and share in the “Soulshine” together.